sometimes i was so sad, that i worked so hard but people just dont appericiate as i expected. I mean they say how nice my job is, but they dont use the result of what i worked so hard. It surely sucks!

like i've wasted my time, supposed that i did servicing my time for my husband and enjoying my rest, but i was stucked in front of my comp and do the best i can to have the best result that my boss expected to, but it ended up that he didnt use it at all.

well imagining how hard my work was, like almost 20 hours no probably more, coz i spent my 3 days, on weekend just to finish it. Hmmm .. geuss i know now how he treats and appriciate me. it was like a punch!! like twice! he did that to me!

i just wish it's only a feeling ... but hmm husnuzon is what i should do. N dont even try to cry in!!!! gambatte!

hmm .. last saturday, when i downloaded the movie title made of honor, it s already finished. I just wish i can remove it and it happened that the movie file is removed. It was like what happend to my brother's computer ... but it was avg's, and it was exe. i should ask my brother whether the file can be downloaded. Coz i use it and then i rename the
 file into rar.

well, hope this one (my downloading now) worked. So, i can see the movie. I've watched the sex and the city 2008. It was good, touchy one! but it was a life that is beyond my world. It was a very newyork's movie.

But i'm crazy about the line, asking why you decide to go to newyork?? louise said "to fall in love!"

i luv it!!!

well, the object of falling in love surely various, not only a person or people, but can be a job that we work, activities that we like and everything in life that we can fall in love

and i wish i can fall in love with everything in my life that i can have my life more ncolorfull

i never done that before in my life ... you know sitting, and doing nothing, just looking at people who went and came back out of nowhere, watching them enjoying their meal, their drinks, their activities, surely their life.

Why did i do that?? cause i was confused between having fun and wasting money, or saving money and doing nothing. Lol .. and it was quite funny. I was like stupid!!

after sightseeing in the mall, seeing some girls do the the traditional show, seeing some new clothes with beach motive a kind, which worth about 20 dollars, deciding to buy breadtalk or j-co, or even pizza, or neither three of them. I was just sitting and calling my brother, who didnt pick up my call. Well i wished that he picked the phone and we're hanging out eating pizza or dougnouts, though i would waste some money which is supposed to be saved to pay my debts. lol ...

my brother just didnt pick up the call. I called tari, my best friend, who is pregnant now. She s busy with her life, my conclusion. So i m stucked doing nothing. I wish that my laptop at least got a battery so i can be ol, but i cant.
Well... it ended up that i watched people who went and came back in front of me.

and then i went home to my mom's ... without buying anything, wasting time not wasting money. lol ...

what a save!!

k, then i got some pretty entertaining sight that makes me think about life and world, which are:

1. k, i found seldom that traditional dances are shown in public places nowadays. I felt bit happy paying attention to those girls wearing traditional clothes, like when i experienced when i was a child. Ok, so at least some of girls in this years dont forgot about our traditional culture.

2. there are some people, let's say unlucky people, from suburban area, with very normal clothes, come to the mall. What a sight! i mean they're lucky can treasure the experience of going to a mall. but still, i didnt find as much as interest as they are going to a mall. Lol, that's why i got confused and sit still, paying attention to people. Wasting time!! ow killing time precisely!

3. there are lots of college students with different style, lots of young family with cute kids, but there are also some olders that i see. Interesting ..  i just thought my mom wasnt interested that much to go to a mall, only for a sightseeing, buying nothing and wasting so much time, while she can use her time more useful than going to mall. Mom, i love you!

4. there is this cute girl with her mommy or granny, and her sister or young mommy, lol, with two ponny tailed-hair. Rare sights!!! what a view! i remember when i was little, that i use to get my hair that kind of style. I was like kiddish and very childish, and dont forget girlish. While her sister or young mommy, i'm not sure which is, busy on the phone. Yeah ... nowadays, people seems very attached to her cellphone, and other electronics tools.

well i'm included.

well, that's i geuss .. i went home, buying some drugs, na, more like cream for my face, and making sure the price of my drugs for reducing my prolactin. well, it costs about two dollars for each, hmm should save, and i should order it.

I should plan it again! hmmm ...

rite now, i'm in my bro's pc. he's doing prayer, and within mins he will be angry and make me go out from his room.

and i just realized that i havent got my lunch, so my worms are yelling on my stomach. And i think i should take a shower, my body is stink!!!

well i'm glad that i'm writing today ..

hows ur day?? hope it's fun!

well i got some homework to do when i'm back home later .. cayou!!gambatte!!

bandung .. here i come on monday!!

wid my teeth .. hiks2 .. i ate dis padang food, rendang, then i realize something was wrong wid my teeth .. like d place has been changed abit,a nd i dot find comfortable enough ...

how i regret that i ate .. when i supposed to do fasting .. hehe .. i wasnt sure i intend to do fasting since i m quite sure that it is the day to get my period ...hehehe .. bad me!

has it ever happened to you??

when u r down or feeling blue

when u need someone's to hold ...

(lupa hehe)...

when u call out my name and u know wherever i am

i come running, to see u again

winter spring summer or fall .. all u have to do is call

and i'll be there yeah yeah you've got a friend ...

i wish i could have someone to talk to bout my problems now ..

but i know anyone would understand and give d solution ..

i just didnt like when i heard that my mom almost cried ...

when my mom sounded so desperate ...

n i feel like i wanna cry to ...

how i wish i could help and change the past ..

how i wish that i could make him understood how hard it was and is for my mom ...

how i wish that he keep trying and change ..

Ya ALLAH .. mudahkanlah kami ...

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Naskah proklamasi hasil corat-coret Soekarno - Hatta

Kami bangsa Indonesia dengan ini menjatakan kemerdekaan Indonesia.

Hal-hal jang mengenai pemindahan kekoeasaan d.l.l., diselenggarakan dengan tjara seksama dan dalam tempo jang sesingkat-singkatnja.


Djakarta, hari 17 boelan 8 tahoen 05 Atas nama bangsa Indonesia.

Soekarno/Hatta

Naskah kemerdekaan yang sudah disusun 2 bulan oleh panitia BPUPKI , namun tak dibacakan dan diubah oleh soekarno-hatta pas H-1 menjelang hari kemerdekaan

Bahwa kemerdekaan itu ialah hak segala bangsa dan oleh sebab itu, maka penjajahan di atas dunia ini harus dihapuskan karena tidak sesuai dengan perikemanusiaan dan peri keadilan. Dan perjuangan kemerdekaan Indonesia telah sampailah kepada saat yang berbahagia dengan selamat sentausa mengantarkan rakyat Indonesia ke pintu gerbang Negara Indonesia, yang merdeka, bersatu, berdaulat, adil dan makmur. Atas berkat Rahmat Allah Yang Maha Kuasa, dan didorong oleh keinginan luhur,

supaya berkehidupan kebangsaan yang bebas, maka dengan ini rakyat Indonesia menyatakan kemerdekaannya. Kemudian dari pada itu, untuk membentuk suatu Pemerintah Negara Indonesia, yang melindungi segenap bangsa Indonesia, dan seluruh tumpah darah Indonesia, dan untuk memajukan kesejahteraan umum, mencerdaskan kehidupan bangsa, dan ikut melaksanakan ketertiban dunia yang berdasarkan kemerdekaan, perdamaian abadi, dan keadilan sosial, maka disusunlah kemerdekaan kebangsaan dalam suatu susunan negara Republik Indonesia yang berkedaulatan rakyat, dengan berdasarkan kepada ketuhanan, dengan kewajiban menjalankan syari'at Islam bagi pemeluknya, menurut dasar kemanusiaan yang adil dan beradab, persatuan Indonesia, dan kerakyatan yang dipimpin oleh hikmat kebijaksanaan dalam permusyawaratan perwakilan serta dengan mewujudkan suatu keadilan sosial bagi seluruh rakyat Indonesia.

Jakarta, 22 Juni 1945

Ir. Soekarno, Drs. Muhammad Hatta, Mr. Ahmad Soebardjo, Abikusno Tjokrosujoso, A.A. Maramis, Abdul Kahar Muzakir, H. Agus Salim, KH. Wahid Hasjim, Mr. Muh Yamin.

Nabi shollallahu ’alaih wa sallam menyampaikan suatu hadits yang menggambarkan salah satu episode di hari pengadilan kelak nanti. Penggambaran yang menjelaskan betapa kesenangan surga sejenak cukup membuat orang yang paling menderita sewaktu di dunia lupa samasekali akan penderitaannya. Sedangkan kesengsaraan neraka walau sekejap cukup untuk menjadikan orang yang paling nikmat sewaktu hidup di dunia tidak ingat lagi akan semua kesenangannya.

“Pada hari kiamat didatangkan orang yang paling nikmat hidupnya sewaktu di dunia dari penghuni neraka. Lalu ia dicelupkan ke dalam neraka sejenak. Kemudian ia ditanya: ”Hai anak Adam, pernahkah kamu melihat suatu kebaikan, pernahkah kamu merasakan suatu kenikmatan?” Maka ia menjawab: ”Tidak, demi Allah, ya Rabb.” Dan didatangkan orang yang paling menderita sewaktu hidup di dunia dari penghuni surga. Lalu ia dicelupkan ke dalam surga sejenak. Kemudian ditanya: ”Hai anak Adam, pernahkah kamu melihat suatu kesulitan, pernahkah kamu merasakan suatu kesengsaraan?” Maka ia menjawab: ”Tidak, demi Allah, ya Rabb. Aku tidak pernah merasakan kesulitan apapun dan aku tidak pernah melihat kesengsaraan apapun.” (HR Muslim 5018)

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kadang2 gw ngerasa dimanfaatin oleh temen gw sendiri,

kadang2 gw ngerasa terlalu mengalah dan kurang outspoken,

kadang2 gw ngerasa gw terlalu mikirin org lain padahal belum tentu org lain mikirin perasaan gw,

seringnya gw ngerasa gw berusaha yang terbaik buat org lain, tapi org lain bahkan dont even look at me or saying thx at all.

well i wasnt supposed to expect someone saying thx, but at least they react as they appriciate me for what i've done. It's that too much??

for example:

she was complaining that her computer turned off by itself. And then she kept complaining that she got scrap computer, that always going to be broken.

I kept quite, not do anything. Coz she asked someone else to help her. She kept complaining for like whole day that it cause me headache. She wanted someone's to pick up her computer, dealing with the electricity,changing the computer, being so spoiled that making someone's do the jobs for her.

break time, she keeps complaining, and i'm helping her. But she just dont say thx. I kinda forgot it. and then she was angry with me because of my boss didnt invite her to the meeting, technical meeting, which i try to understand that probably she has no capabilities in IT at the moment.

i try to forget what happend yesterday, and then i try to learn and hope that i wish she feels better, i mean the way she treats me.

And then what i felt this morning was, that i felt she didnt change her mood. I was like ... ow ow.. i'm in trouble.

And just now she keeps complaining that she wants the TV turned on. But she doesnt help much with the electricity, move and arrange the TV on the table. That's all i got.

I just realize that  i even cant see the TV. damn it! and then i express it .. she just said nothing .. nothing to help even a suggestion ...

and then she took her hp from d charger that put on my table, and she even doesnt return it back. And i'm the one who s returning back.

and i just keep it in my heart trying to smile ...

ikhlas in ikhlas ... let it go let it go ...

u have to control ur emotion which lately maybe u showed it too much!! so learning in learning in!

be patient!

control your emotion!

hmm is it caused by my starving stomach?? lol

i got dis friend name cima, she works wid me in subdivision. We take care of public relation, i think. I mean our job description r collecting news from newspaper or magazines dat related bout our organization, preparing for press release, manage d website of our organization. Well i got dis boss name dian, he's kinda wierd too. He used to play alone. Call it one man show. he never told us to do something until he was lazy or in a way dat he's been gone so we had to do dat.

My part of job is surely related wid d sites. I kinda interested i dat stuff, and wanna learn. So he sees me as i'm capable. While cima is handling d collecting news job and be ready if dian is not around to prepare d press release.

k d problem is, cima wants to be involved though she doesnt show an interesting way to be considered as capable in IT thing. D wierdest part is often sometimes, dian never make us involve in any important roles. Some time he ask when he had to. like being pushd in d corner by d bigboss. But in other times, well we rnt asked to be involved at all.

Lately, i was in doubt whether i'm gonna be involved in site development dat will be done by consultant. Especially since i wasnt told to do so. Dat's y i keep quiet and just pay attention wid what happend around d office. Well suddenly he needs me, and he told me to do so. ANd cima wasnt told to. So she kinda upset. Showing her upset to me.

What a wierd situation. I'm pretending not to know. I mean i have told dian to involve both of us. Incase, i wasnt around, so she can back me up. Yeah .. but still dian doesnt get it. He just smile. Well at least i tried, and god knows i tried.

well .. dat's what happen to me. I m trying to be nice, but sometimes ppl just dont understand.

ALLAH MAHA BESAR